ranma@TASS.org (Saotome Ranma) I'm watching through the looking glass At a girl I thought I once knew But beneath the mellow tears Not everything is clear And I just don't know her anymore Imagine the surprise Reflected in her eyes Generations pass and the child walks alone I took for granted a love I could call my own But I don't need anyone anymore People have come and gone But I have the strength to carry on I have evened the score The awakening has passed on. +-----------------------------------------------------------+ | Daigakusei no Ukyou: As You Like It | | | | Created by David Tai, Paul Gallegos, | | John Walter Biles and Jeff Hosmer | | | | Based on the characters created by Rumiko Takahashi | +-----------------------------------------------------------+ =============================================================================== -= Episode 4: "Home Is Where the Fighting Is" =- =============================================================================== [Opening shot: Kuonji-san is driving through the streets of Osaka with Ukyou and Megami. The car is a clunky old Toyota Corrolla which looks old enough for the Meiji Emperor to have been the first owner. Megami now looks to be around 16-18.] Ukyou: I haven't been home in so long. Megami: How come, Mom? Kuonji-san: Remember, Megami, you'd better not call Ucchan that when we get home. Father would not understand. Megami: [nods] So why haven't you been home? Ukyou: At first, I didn't want to leave Ranma. And then... Kuonji-san: You didn't want to face Father. Ukyou: Uh... Kuonji-san: Neither do I. He still thinks you're a boy. Ukyou: ... [stares at her father] You STILL haven't told him? Kuonji-san: He'd probably have a heart attack. Megami: Great-grandfather thinks Mom is a boy? Is he blind? Kuonji-san: Your... mother used to dress as a boy a lot. When she was still seeking revenge on Ranma. More importantly, her mother and I...uh...sort of told Father we had a boy. Megami: ... Ukyou: I still can't believe you did that. Kuonji-san: Yes, it was an incredibly stupid thing to do. [sighs] We were afraid of what he might do if we didn't produce a son soon and... Megami: You're kidding. Kuonji-san: I wish I was kidding. It was a pretty stupid thing to do. Ukyou: Well, luckily, I brought some clothing I can use. It would help if you had actually told me this in advance. Kuonji-san: I didn't realize you'd assume anything had changed. Anyway, Everyone's eager to see you. Ukyou: Should I be expecting the usual 'surprise' attack? Kuonji-san: [laughs] I don't know if he's up to that today. I'm sure he'll want to spar at some point, though. Megami: Is he as good as Uncle Ranchan? Ukyou: No, but he's pretty good. ***** [Cut to the Kuonji mansion. It is a huge, beautiful house in a traditional architectural style, dating back to the 1700s in origin. It is surrounded by a neatly kept garden, in which several staff are hard at work as Kuonji-san, Ukyou, and Megami park. Ukyou is now dressed as a boy. She is wearing a button down shirt and slacks.] Megami: Wow, you have a really beautiful house! Kuonji-san: There's a pool in the back. Megami: Can we swim in it? Ukyou: [sounds morose] I doubt I'll be doing any swimming. Kuonji-san: [sighs] Follow me, Megami. I'll show you the pool and find you a room. [They march off, leaving Ukyou staring at the house. For a few minutes, she simply stares at the building, letting memories carry her away.] ************ [Wipe to a wavy flashback. A ten year old Ukyou is practicing in the yard with her spatula. She is dressed as a boy. Kuonji-sama, her grandfather, watches silently from the porch. He is dressed in the same Kendo garb that Kunou favors. Ukyou moves through an elaborate kata, but messes up the ending by hitting herself in the head with the butt of the spatula. Falls down, then gets up and begins grimly to repeat it.] Ukyou: This is giving me a headache. Kuonji-sama: [watches silently as Ukyou repeats the kata] Your determination is a credit to our family. Ukyou: I'm gonna find that jackass Genma and pound in his skull! [whacks herself in the head again and starts over] Kuonji-sama: Your head is not Genma, grandchild. If you always get so angry when you practice, you will never learn control. Are you sure you do not wish to try Kendo instead? It can't be easy trying to teach yourself this fighting style. Ukyou: Papa is teaching me this one. Kuonji-sama: You have already surpassed your father in this style. I suspect there is little more he can teach you. Ukyou: [finally does the kata correctly] I don't like quitting in the middle of something just because it's harder that way. Kuonji-sama: [smiles] You will be a great warrior one day. Ukyou: Not as great as you, grandfather. [sits down] Tell me a story about how you fought in the war. Kuonji-sama: [cocks his head] Hmmm. Did I ever tell you about New Guinea? Ukyou: Nope. Kuonji-sama: Okay, I was a lieutenant at that point and... ********* [Cut back to the present. Ukyou snaps back to reality as she hears footsteps behind her. She spins around, only to see a child chasing her old tabby cat, Shiro. The child has short, rumpled black hair and is a bit pudgy. He is around seven years old.] Ukyou: Hey, leave Shiro alone! Child: You're not my MOTHER! Ukyou: ... [Shiro hides behind Ukyou, who picks him up.] Child: Hey! Ukyou: Who are you? Child: I'm Kuonji Shin. [blinks] Have you been here before? Ukyou: [thinking] That's Shin-chan? He was a lot smaller the last time I saw him. [talking] I'm your cousin Ukyou. Shin: I didn't realize my cousin was so girly looking. Ukyou: I didn't realize my cousin was so rude. Looking to get a spanking? Shin: You'll never catch me to spank me! [turns to run] Ukyou: [thinking] Why am I wasting my time with this idiot? He's gonna be as bad as his brother, I see. [turns and walks away] Shin: [turns back around] Hey, I'm not done yet! Ukyou: [ignores him and keeps walking towards the house] I am. Shin: Don't ignore me! Ukyou: [thinking] Right. Ignore him. [heads into the house, leaving Shin to throw a fit behind her] **************************************************************************** [Cut to dinner time at the Kuonji household. Kuonji-san, Ukyou, Megami, Shin, Kuonji-sama, and Shin's mother, Akiko are all at the table. Akiko is tall, blonde, and fairly thin, wearing a kimono.] Kuonji-sama: It is a pleasure to meet you, Megami. Megami: I'm glad to meet you too, Grandfather. Kuonji-sama: [smiles] It's nice of you to call me that. I always wanted more grandchildren. So what are you studying at the university? Megami: Literature, especially mythology. That's how I met Ukyou, in a literature class we had together. I...uh, I'm a first year student too. I'm from...Sapporo. Ukyou: [laughs faintly] She's very good at it. Almost a myth come to life herself. [She and Megami both laugh] Kuonji-sama: Good, good. We need more people who take our traditions seriously. So many young people go chasing off after decadent Western ways. [glances at Kuonji-san, who says nothing] Akiko: Decadent Western ways like the air-conditioning you had me arrange to be installed after you spent the last four years complaining about how it was always too hot or too cold? Kuonji-sama: [thinking] Never let your children handle your finances. Shin: [bangs his chopsticks on the table] I found a slug today! Akiko: [turns to Shin] Be quiet when your grandfather is talking, Shin. Shin: You always tell me to be quiet! Kuonji-san: You can tell me about it later, Shin. Father is trying to talk to our guest. Shin: Yes, sir. [goes back to eating quietly] Akiko: Good boy. [looks relieved] Megami: So how did you get so rich, Kuonji-sama? I never knew Ukyou's family had this much money. Kuonji-sama: After World War II, I took my army pay and invested in manufacturing. Luckily, my parents survived the war and were able to help as well. A lot of my starting capital came from them. I didn't really know what I was doing at the time, but I got lucky and picked a company that did well. Soon, I was able to reinvest in more companies, and now I own a lot of land and have a wide range of investments. I also own a chain of okonomiyaki shops. Kuonji-san is the head cook for the one in Osaka. Megami: I bet he's the best one you have! Kuonji-sama: Yes, I suppose he is. [Kuonji-san looks stunned] So, Ukyou, we need to think about finding you a wife soon. I haven't got too many more years left in me, and I need to make sure the family line is carried on. Ukyou: [stops eating] I've had enough of engagements to... Kuonji-sama: I know this must be difficult for you after that entire debacle with Saotome, but we can't put this off much longer. We need to at least start looking if we're to find you an acceptable bride by the time you graduate. Ukyou: [looks pleadingly at her father, who sighs and looks away] I'm sure I'll find someone nice at college. I've still got three and a half years. Kuonji-sama: Fair enough. We can wait until you've reached your third year, and if you haven't found someone by then, I'll start making inquiries. I want to see you married before I die, but I think I can last that long. Megami: [looks visibily confused by the whole affair] I'm sure M...Ukyou won't have any trouble finding someone nice. He's very handsome and kind and a really good cook like his dad! Kuonji-sama: [looks calculatingly at Megami, then turns to Ukyou] So how are your studies coming along, Ukyou? Ukyou: Really well. I was afraid I'd have a hard time getting back into the swing of things, but I studied hard, and I think I did pretty well. Kuonji-sama: [finishes eating] It has been very pleasant seeing you again. I think I shall take a nap now. I will see you tomorrow if not before. [departs] Akiko: [gets up] I have work to do. Come on, Shin. Time for bed. Shin: ALREADY? [gets dragged off] Ukyou: [visibly sags in relief] Whew. That was easier than I thought. Megami: Did I do a good job, Mom? Ukyou: You did great. I'm glad he didn't ask any probing questions about your family. Kuonji-san: I told him there had been a death recently in Megami's family and rattled off some stuff. Now I just have to remember what I told him... Ukyou: DAD! Kuonji-san: [raises hands in warding off gesture] I'm joking! Ukyou: Maybe this break won't go so badly after all. **************************************************************************** [Cut to the next morning. Megami is out in the garden, enjoying the day. We hear birds singing in the distance. Shiro is sprawled out asleep near Megami.] Megami: [raises her arms to shoulder height, then spins around in a circle. As she spins, her skirt flies up somewhat as it fills with air and twirls] Whee! Shin: [nearby] I can see your underwear when you do that. [Shiro hears Shin's voice, wakes up, and runs] Megami: [blushes and halts her spinning] I didn't notice you there, Shin-chan. Shin: [shrugs] No one ever does. Megami: Well, I'm noticing you now. Shin: Are you cousin Ukyou's girlfriend? Megami: [blinks] No, not at all. [laughs] Why, are you jealous? Shin: Jealous of him? No way. [turns and pouts, facing the house] Megami: [comes over and sits down by him] Did he do something to you to make you so mad at him? Shin: Mom was supposed to take me to get some candy, but she took Ukyou out to lunch instead. Megami: Well, your mother hasn't seen her nei..nephew in a long time. Shin: Yeah, but she always makes excuses not to take me anywhere. Megami: Would you like to go with me to get some candy, then? Shin: [looks surprised] You mean it? Megami: Let's go! [Shin leaps up and follows her.] ***************** [Cut to Papa-san's Restaurant, a nice little cafe which serves a mixture of western and cheap Japanese cuisine. Akiko, Ukyou, and Kuonji-san are eating lunch in a corner booth by a window.] Akiko: I can't believe you still haven't told him, Brother-in-law. Kuonji-san: He already hates me. I didn't need to give him more nails for my coffin. He'll die soon and then it won't matter. Akiko: He's not that old! The doctors have been expecting him to die any time now for the last ten years. Frankly, I think he'll outlive all of us. If his sight gets much worse, he won't be able to tell the difference between a boy and a girl, though. I think his memory is starting to go, but he's hiding it, if it is. [sighs] You can't keep this up forever. Ukyou: I don't want to. I'm done with living like a boy. I don't want to lie to my own grandfather. So, how did you figure me out, Aunt Akiko? Akiko: Your mother told me a long time ago. I never thought the charade would last this long. Kuonji-san: [testily] We didn't have a choice. Akiko: Dammit, there had to be some other solution! It's not like you knew at the time that she'd be your only child! Kuonji-san: You didn't have Kuonji-sama leaning over you making dark ominous hints about YOUR future if he didn't get a grandson soon! It took us eight years to manage to have our first child. If it had taken us eight more to have another, he'd have done...something. Akiko: He was on me pretty hard about... Kuonji-san: It was worse for us. I married his eldest daughter. After everything went wrong, I really couldn't afford to admit it. I don't think he'd love Ukyou less if he knew, but he'd dislike me even more. As soon as I can afford to move out, then we can tell him. It won't matter after that. I guess I probably sound selfish, but I just can't stand having another fight with him. Ukyou: If you need any help, Dad, I can... Kuonji-san: It'll only be a few more months. Before your next vacation, I'm pretty sure. [pauses] So what are you going to do for your vacation? Ukyou: Actually, I hadn't really planned that out. I'm going to look up some old friends and check out my old haunts and improvise from there. Akiko: You should ask Father if you can go to one of his poker games. Ukyou: [laughs] I don't think they want me to clean them out again. Akiko: Well, you also might want to... [launches into a list of entertainment ideas] *********************** [Cut to Megami and Shin, who are at a candy store.] Megami: You can have whatever you want. I'll buy it for you. Shin: Woo woo! [runs berserk through the store, finally ending up with a pile of fifty-eight different items, especially chocolate bars and enough pocky for the entire French Foreign legion] Shin: There. I'd get more, but I'd fall down. Megami: [bigsweats] Umm...I don't have that much money. Just pick three things. Shin: Awww, but you said... Megami: I didn't realize you'd try to take the entire store. Shin: I never get any candy. Grandpa thinks it will rot my teeth and Mom always buys me educational stuff that puts me to sleep. Megami: My parents buy me lots of candy. Shin: Why didn't you go stay with them for summer vacation? Can I go stay with them? Megami: I am with...um, Ukyou invited me to come stay with him. Shin: So you two ARE dating! Megami: I'm not dating Ukyou! There's someone else I like. Shin: The more a girl denies she likes someone, the more it means she likes him! Megami: Who told you that? Shin: Hey, I do watch TV, you know! I may be little, but I'm not stupid! Megami: [pays for the candy and gets herself a chocolate bar and some pocky] You can't believe everything you see on TV. Shin: I learned this on TV too! [moons the desk clerk, then runs outside] Megami: [runs after him] SHIN-CHAN! Shin: You're not my mother! [runs off down the street laughing with Megami chasing him] ************************ [Fade in to a busy street in Osaka. There are many street vendors here. Ukyou is walking down the street, looking around.] Ukyou: I guess this place never changes. Now if I could just remember where that book store was... [arrives at a building whose sign reads 'Samurai Tailor'. She laughs.] I wonder if Kunou owns this place or something. I guess the book business dried up. [steps inside to see how it has changed] Clerk: [sounds bored] Hello, can I help you? Ukyou: [thinking] The voice sounds familiar, but I can't place the face. [out loud] This used to be a bookstore a few years ago. I just wanted to look around. Clerk: Been gone a while, eh? My folks moved their tailor shop here about two years ago. Ukyou: I haven't been back to Osaka since I was in the tenth grade. [pauses] Did we go to school together? You sound familiar. Clerk: [looks at Ukyou in a rather exaggerated manner, then blinks, also over dramatically] Ukyou-sama! [laughs] I was wondering when you'd recognize me. Ukyou: [looks harder at the boy, then starts] Tsubasa? Tsubasa: In the flesh. I guess this disguise worked even better than the others, eh? Ukyou: [laughs] I haven't seen you in what...a year? A year and a half? [thinking] I ought to be hacked off, but it's nice to see a familiar face, even Tsubasa...everything is so different. Tsubasa: When I finally gave up on you...that was...[thinks] a long time ago. I'm in college now, but when I came home on vacation, my folks put me to work. Ukyou: I'm in college too now. I'm attending Mizunoikan. How about you? Tsubasa: I'm at this tiny school in Hokkaido, the Sapporo Institute. It's a fine arts specialty school. I'm planning to go into costuming for plays and movies. Ukyou: [laughs] Sounds perfect for you. Tsubasa: So how are you and Saotome-san getting along? Ukyou: He and Akane got married. Tsubasa: [blinks] Parents finally forced them into it? Ukyou: [faintly] They chose it. Tsubasa: Really? Well, I was never a good judge of people anyway. I kinda had the impression they hated each other. Ukyou: Looking back, I'm not so suprised anymore that Akane went into acting. Tsubasa: [stares at Ukyou for a moment as if she said 'Yob frob gidob', then laughs] Oh, I get it! I guess that's why you finally went off to college? Ukyou: Among other things, yeah. Shampoo hasn't given up, though. Tsubasa: The purple-haired girl? Ukyou: Yeah. And Akane had to beat Kodachi in a match to make her stay away. She's probably plotting something, however, 'cause I doubt she'll ever give up, short of death. Tsubasa: Seen anyone else from our school? Ukyou: Everyone's gone but us, as far as I can tell. A lot of them didn't bother coming home for break. They all have lives elsewhere now. Tsubasa: Well, I can't afford to stay at school. Ukyou: I'm just here because I haven't been home in years. Tsubasa: Are you enjoying it? Ukyou: Sometimes. I'm tired of posing as a boy in front of Grandpa. Tsubasa: ... Ukyou: And now there's this other stuff too. Tsubasa: You wanna meet for dinner or something so we can talk? My parents are gonna kill me if I stand here and yak much longer. Ukyou: Sure. Tsubasa: I'll bring my girlfriend so you can meet her too. See ya! [goes over to help another customer who just walked in] Ukyou: Girlfriend? **************************************** [We see Ukyou sitting on one of the poolside deck chairs, reading a book. There is a sound of laughter from beyond the hedges that fence off the pool.] Ukyou: [looks up] Where's all that laughter coming from? [A little girl runs into the pool area, then runs and clambers under the deck chair Ukyou is on.] Ukyou: [looks down] Do I know you? Girl: My name is Keiko. We're playing hide and seek. [puts a finger to her lips] Shhhh. [More children sprint through the pool area and scatter, looking for hiding places. Megami runs in, and Ukyou grabs her arm.] Ukyou: Are these all friends of Shin's? Megami: [nods] Hai. We're playing hide and seek. Ukyou: [laughs faintly] How come I haven't seen them before? Megami: It's Shin's birthday. Ukyou: ... Megami: You did get him a present, right? Ukyou: ... Megami: [grabs Ukyou's arm] We'd better go shopping right now, then. Ukyou: So this is part of a birthday party? Megami: What planet have you been living on that you didn't hear them talking about it this morning? Ukyou: [gets up] Well, let's go shopping. I bet he'd like some action figures, or maybe some manga. [They head off to go shopping.] **************************************************************************** [Everyone is gathered around the dining room table, which has a large cake on it with eight candles. In addition to the Kuonjis and Megami, there are five of Shin's friends here--three boys and two girls.] Megami: Blow out the candles and make a wish! Shin: [takes a deep breath and blows out the candles, thinking] I want a daddy and some friends who live close enough so that I can play with them more often. Kuonji-sama: [starts hauling various wrapped presents over to the table] Here's your loot, grandson. Shin: [looking at the boxes] Where's the pony? Akiko: They were out of ponies at the pet store, dear. Shin: AGAIN? Yeesh, how does that place stay in business when it never has ANYTHING I want? Ukyou: What else didn't it have? Kuonji-san: He wanted an alligator for Christmas. He tried to talk Akiko-san into buying him some piranha once. Ukyou: [thinking] Good thing he doesn't know Kodachi. Shin: I wanted a Godzilla too, but they were out of THOSE too. [grabs another box] Who is this one from? There's no name! Ukyou: It's my present. Shin: Is it radioactive? Ukyou: Nope. Shin: Awww. [opens the box. It contains five superhero action figures.] Hey, all right, the Mighty Wombat Rangers! [runs over and hugs Ukyou] Thanks! I've been really wanting these, but the stores keep selling out. Ukyou: [briefly flashes back to fighting off three crazed mothers while Megami grabbed the figures and ran] I'm glad you like them. Shin: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Nanami: [a little girl with green hair] Open mine next, Shin! Shin: Okay! [unwraps one box and rips it open. A compressed spring snake explodes out of the box at him. Nanami starts laughing] Ahh, it got me! [writhes around on the floor, wrestling with it] Help, anaconda! Ukyou: [thinking] Probably the same prop they used in the movie. Kuonji-sama: [laughing, untangles Shin from the snake] I'll save you. Shin: Thanks, Grandpa! [Kuonji-sama smiles] **************************************** [Cut to the backyard of the Kuonji mansion. Ukyou is performing a kata with her giant spatula while Megami watches her and pets Shiro, who is enjoying some friendly attention. Unseen by them, Kuonji-sama is watching from just inside the porch door. He smiles faintly, then reopens the door loudly.] Megami: Oh, hello, Kuonji-sama! Kuonji-sama: Hello, Megami-chan. Hello, Ukyou. Ukyou: Good afternoon, Grandfather. Megami: [notices Kuonji-sama is carrying a bokken] Do you practice kendo, Kuonji-sama? Kuonji-sama: Indeed. Will you spar with me, Ukyou? Ukyou: Sure. [The two of them face off, then bow. They eye each other warily, then explode into action in a flurry of blows, parries, and counter- blows.] Megami: Wow! Kuonji-sama: I see you've kept in practice. [aims a sweep at Ukyou's legs] Ukyou: [leaps up to avoid the blow and strikes down at his head, only to be parried] So have you. I stopped for a while, but I've been getting back into it. Kuonji-sama: Why did you stop? Ukyou: It was bringing me nothing but pain, so I decided to change my life and become someone else. [feints left, then strikes with the butt of the spatula on the right. The blow connects, though not very hard] Kuonji-sama: [betrays no evidence of having been struck] Running away never helps. Ukyou: I know that now. Kuonji-sama: I don't think your father understands that yet. [gets in a blow on Ukyou's leg] He's planning to do it again. Ukyou: [blinks] What? Kuonji-sama: He thinks I do not know that he is planning to leave soon. Ukyou: [stares] I...how... Kuonji-sama: [thrusts forward and almost touches Ukyou's chest with the bokken] Bang, you're dead. You still haven't learned not to leave your heart open to attack. [turns to go] I must go now. I can tell I'm getting old...I feel ready to die from a simple sparring match. If you need me, I'll be lying down. [walks away] Ukyou: ... Megami: Wow, Great-Grandpa's pretty good. Ukyou: He helped me train when I was younger. Megami: Can he jump around trees and stuff? Ukyou: Not anymore. Megami: So how did he know Grandpa is going to move out? Ukyou: I don't know, but I'm gonna tell Dad. ********************************************** [Cut to a ramen bar where Ukyou and Megami are waiting for someone.] Megami: So this guy was your boyfriend for a while? Ukyou: No, no, he WANTED to be my boyfriend. Megami: Oh. Like... Ukyou: Yes. Megami: How did you meet him? Ukyou: We went to Freebird Academy for Boys together. Megami: How'd he find out you were a girl? Ukyou: I had a rather hard time concealing my gender. It was the first school I had roomed at, and I hadn't thought about problems like communal baths. I took all my baths at two in the morning so no one would spot me. That worked for a while. Megami: He walked in on you while you were bathing? Ukyou: Apparently, he'd snuck out with some friends or something and got back late and wanted a bath....Anyway, we started off on the wrong foot, then he decided he was in love with me, but he wanted to keep my secret, so he...uh...started posing as a girl. Megami: ... Ukyou: Well, actually, I doubt it was the first time he'd done it...he did it too well to have just started. Anyway, I left Freebird shortly after that, before my secret could get accidentally exposed, and a little after that, I finally got a lead on where to find Ranma. Megami: Does he still dress like a girl? Ukyou: Not when I last saw him, but with Tsubasa...you expect the unexpected. He might be hidden inside the bar. [The bar suddenly sprouts open and Tsubasa pops out, along with a cute green-haired girl. She is dressed in a nice blue blouse and a long blue pleated skirt.] Ukyou: Hi! Ramen Vendor: HEY! Tsubasa: Hi! [turns to the girl] Reika, this is Kuonji Ukyou. We attended Freebird Academy together. [turns to Ukyou] Ukyou-sama, this is Yamato Reika, who I met at school. She lives in Kyoto. Ukyou: Hi! [turns to Megami] Everyone, this is Miyaki Megami, a friend of mine from school. Reika: Nice to meet you! [looks assessingly at Megami] You're pretty cute. Megami: Thank you! Reika: [looks assessingly at Ukyou] You too. Tsubasa: You know that embarrasses some people, Reika. Reika: [looks assessingly at Tsubasa] You're cute too, dear. Megami: [laughs] Do you do that to everything you see? Reika: Just the human things. Ramen Vendor: You people going to eat something or are you waiting for someone to burst out of my soda machine too? [Everyone orders some food and sits down to wait for it.] Reika: [to Ukyou] Tsubasa tells me you're a martial artist? Ukyou: Yeah. Martial Okonomiyaki making. Reika: ... Tsubasa: Ukyou's really good at it, as my head can attest. Reika: He used to beat you up? Tsubasa: Well, I was usually asking for it. Reika: Anyway, I practice Judo. There's supposed to be a tournament in town in two weeks, if you're interested. Ukyou: I haven't been in a tournament in a long time. Megami: I bet you'd beat them all, M...Ukyou! Tsubasa: You should try it. You'd clobber everyone. Reika: Hey, I'm pretty good. Megami: Ukyou's been training since age 5! Reika: You're kidding, right? Megami: Uncle Ranchan's been training since age 5, too. In fact, I guess all of M...Ukyou's old friends are pretty good. Reika: ... Tsubasa: She's not joking. There were some pretty scary martial artists in Nerima. Ukyou: You got that right. ********************************************** [We see Kuonji-sama and Akiko, talking in Kuonji-sama's room.] Kuonji-sama: So what do you think about this Megami? Akiko: She seems like a nice enough girl. Kuonji-sama: I believe she likes Ukyou, but I am not sure of his feelings towards her. Akiko: Are you suggesting... Kuonji-sama: I must find him a wife, but we are not so poor that we must marry our heirs out for money. If we can find someone he loves, so much the better. Could you...talk to her for me? I don't know how to approach a young girl that age anymore. I'd end up scaring her, I think. Akiko: I'll talk to her. [thinks] For what it's worth. *********************************** [Cut back to the restaurant] Ukyou: I guess we'd better get going. Reika: It was nice to meet you! [Ukyou and Megami depart] Reika: [turns to Tsubasa] Tell me none of that was true. Tsubasa: You know I can't lie to you. Reika: It can't possibly be true. Tsubasa: You haven't heard half of it. [pays their check and leads Reika out the door] We stayed away from the really unbelievable stuff. Reika: People turning into pandas is NOT the unbelievable stuff? Tsubasa: [laughs] Let me tell you about the really crazy stuff. ****************************** [Ukyou and Megami arrive at the Kuonji house. The lights are out.] Ukyou: [unlocks the door] I guess they all went to bed early. Megami: Shin-chan probably wore them out. Ukyou: [laughs] The kid's a holy terror. Gods, I hope I wasn't like that at his age. Kuonji-san: [from the darkness] You were worse. Ukyou: [jumps and nearly impales her head into the ceiling] Aaa! Dad, you scared me! Kuonji-san: [laughs] At least Shin hasn't found anyone to swear ten years of vengeance on. Ukyou: [frowns] Dad... Kuonji-san: Another one of my failures. I should have had more sense from the start, but I could never say no to you. Ukyou: We both screwed up, Dad. Kuonji-san: The poor boy's just lonely. His mother doesn't pay any attention to him, and Father and I are too busy. We do our best, but the only way he can get the amount of attention he needs is to misbehave. Akiko-san is too busy to take care of him properly, and she never understood little boys very well anyway, unlike her husband. [sighs] He was a good man. We got along well. Megami: What happened to him? Kuonji-san: He died in a traffic wreck three days after Shin was born. He's never had a real father. Father wants to teach Shin Kendo, but he's too busy and too tired when he's not busy. Ukyou: Didn't he teach Taiki Kendo? Kuonji-san: He tried. Taiki wasn't really interested. He only did it because it made Father happy. I doubt he's touched a sword since he left for college. Well, I'm going to bed. Megami: Did you stay up just to make sure we got home okay? Kuonji-san: The eyes of a moon child are keen. Megami: Is that a yes? Kuonji-san: Good night, my daughter. Ukyou: Goodnight, Dad. Megami: Sleep tight! [Everyone goes off to bed] ***************************************************************** [Ukyou is practicing early the next morning. Kuonji-sama steps out on the porch.] Kuonji-sama: Good morning, Ukyou. Megami said you were planning on entering the tournament that's coming up. Ukyou: I don't know if I'll do so well. I've been focusing on my studies instead of my martial arts this year. Kuonji-sama: Nonsense. You're better than you ever were when you used to live here, and you won two tournaments back then. I know people who are better, but most of them are at least twice your age or more. I have confidence in you. Ukyou: Thank you, Grandfather. Kuonji-sama: [looks pensively at Ukyou] So what's bothering you? Something's on your mind and I don't think it's the tournament. Ukyou: It's nothing. Kuonji-sama: I did not raise two children to adulthood without learning that 'It's nothing.' means it IS something. Ukyou: I...well... Kuonji-sama: I swear I will tell no one. Ukyou: Have you ever seen a situation where you don't belong? [pauses] No, that's not quite right. More like a situation where you should be, but you know if you actually enter it, you'd wreck everything? [pauses] No, that isn't quite right, either. Aaargh, I don't know how to even say this. Kuonji-sama: Torn between your desires and your duty? Ukyou: [nods] Hai. What do you think of...the effort I made to get even with the Saotomes? Kuonji-sama: It was perhaps the most ridiculously overblown act of vengeance I have ever seen. You completely wrecked your childhood for a revenge you never got. You threw away dozens of opportunities that will never come again. Ukyou: ... Kuonji-sama: My deepest regret is that I encouraged you every step of the way. I drove you on, seeking a pointless revenge on people I had never even met. When I look back at it, the only thing way I can understand why I encouraged you was that I have always been a stupidly vengeful man. Ukyou: It was my duty. [sighs] It was the biggest mistake of my life. Kuonji-sama: Duty can make us do stupid things. Especially when we tangle up our desires with our duty. Did I ever tell you about how my tour of duty on New Guinea during the war ended? Ukyou: [quietly] You wouldn't ever talk about it when I was little. Kuonji-sama: You remember Minamoto-san, right? Ukyou: [nods] Hai. Kuonji-sama: The reason I never talked about it was that I was captured by the Americans. That's why I'm still alive. By late 1944, our forces there had pretty much been wiped out. Minamoto-kun and I had managed to avoid capture. The rest of our unit had been trapped in a pillbox and committed seppuku, but we had somehow managed to fight our way out. Ukyou: [nods] I think you did tell me this part once. Kuonji-sama: One day, as we tried to ambush a patrol, Minamoto-kun got badly injured. We got away, but he was going to need medical help. Help we weren't going to get. He was going to commit seppuku so the Americans wouldn't capture him. Ukyou: [big eyed] What happened? I mean...I know he isn't dead so... Kuonji-sama: I was going to help him, and then I remembered the talk I had with his mother. She had asked me to take care of him the night before we left for the army. I swore to her that I'd bring him back alive. As he was about to stab himself, I could see the look in her eyes that she would have when she found out he was dead. She wasn't a person who cared much about honor, but she was kind and I ... [falls silent] Ukyou: You knew she wouldn't see this your way. Kuonji-sama: It was my duty to help my friend avoid a dishonorable surrender. It was my duty to keep my oath. And...I didn't want him to die. I was never much of a philosopher. I didn't have a good reason for what I did. I just had an image in my mind. I had to choose between duties. To him. To his mother. To myself. Ukyou: [thinking] No wonder he never told me about all this before. Kuonji-sama: So when he got ready to stab himself...I wouldn't let him do it. I forced him to go with me to surrender. He tried to kill me, but he was in no condition to fight. [sighs] It was the most deeply humiliating thing I had ever done. I was afraid they'd just kill us and it would all have been for nothing. I was afraid of what they would say when we went home... Ukyou: What did they say? Kuonji-sama: One of the reasons I went into manufacturing was that everyone out in the little town we lived in thought I was vile for having surrendered. I had to move and start a new life with my wife. She understood what I did. The ironic thing is that some of the people I met in the camp helped me to get set up after the war--both prisoners and some of our keepers. Some of them hated our guts, just like we'd hated them, despite neither us nor the Americans really knowing anything about each other, but I met some nice people too. I talk about 'Decadent Western Ways' sometimes, but that's more to twit your father than anything else. Ukyou: I'd hardly call Dad highly Western, anyway. Kuonji-san: You're more Western than either of us, but I'm starting to ramble. Minamoto-san eventually understood why I did what I did, though our friendship was shaky for a while. I had to overcome my pride and my fear to do what was the right thing. Sometimes, we have to learn to walk away from a potential battle when there is no point in fighting to the last ditch. And so did you, with Saotome. I wish I could say I learned a lesson that changed my life in New Guinea...but I didn't learn it as well as I should. I encouraged you to pursue my revenge. I let my family pride blind me as well...egging you on to revenge against a helpless girl like that. Ukyou: [laughs faintly] She's anything but helpless. Kuonji-sama: I'm glad you forgave her, even though it didn't work out. I don't think I could have done it, in your place. Ukyou: It all turned out to be her father's fault, not hers. Kuonji-sama: But you forgave the father for the sake of the child. Ukyou: [pauses] Yeah. Kuonji-sama: It took me far longer than it took you. [pauses] Well, I must be going off to work. Ukyou: [whispers] But could you forgive us if you knew everything? [turns and stares at the sky, which has no answer for her] **************************************************************************** [Later in the day, Megami is watching Ukyou practice in the backyard. Kuonji-san and Kuonji-sama have left for work.] Shin: [wanders out of the garden] Look, I found a snake! Ukyou: Go around picking up snakes, and you'll get bit. Shin: [runs at Megami, waving the garter snake] Booga booga booga! Snake! Snake! Megami: [laughs and takes the snake when Shin tries to drop it down her shirt] What a nice little snake. Shin: I thought girls didn't like snakes. Megami: Let me guess...you saw it on TV? Shin: Yeah! Ukyou: [groans] If you saw people on TV jumping off a cliff, would you do it? Shin: Depends on what happened to them afterwards. Ukyou: [goes back to practicing] Just remember that lots of girls aren't anything like what you see on TV. Shin: That's not possible! Ukyou: [grins and walks over] You see...you can't always tell if someone's a girl. Shin: Yes you can! You poke their boobies to see if they're real! I saw that on TV too! Ukyou: What if they don't look like they have any? Shin: They all do! Well, the ones older than me do. Ukyou: Ahh, but some girls disguise themselves as boys to carry out their EVIL schemes against little boys like you. Shin: [big eyes] What kind of evil schemes? Ukyou: Like tying you down and making you eat spinach. Shin: [backs up nervously] How many of these disguised girls are there? Ukyou: [advances] They're everywhere. Any boy you see MIGHT be a girl trying to get your guard down so you'll have to drink castor oil and eat spinach. Shin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [runs away screaming] Ukyou: [laughs] I haven't had this much fun in a while. Megami: That was mean! Now he's going to think every boy he sees is a girl. Ukyou: I couldn't resist. Megami: [sighs] Sometimes I think you ARE a boy. Ukyou: What's THAT supposed to mean? Akiko: [comes out on the porch] Megami, do you have a minute? Megami: Sure. I'll let the two manly MEN duke it out back here over which one of them is ruder. Ukyou: Hey! Akiko: [thinking] Two men? I only see Ukyou... [blinks] Um, right. Come on, Megami-chan. [She and Megami go inside to the living room.] Akiko: So what exactly is your relationship with Ukyou? Father thinks you have a crush on Ukyou, but unlike him, I know Ukyou is a girl, so that's not it. [pauses] Or is it? Megami: [blushes] I'm not like that. Besides, I'm in love with someone. He's so cute and strong and a really nice guy! Akiko: So you're just a friend of Ukyou's from college? Megami: Yep. Mom's not going to be home during the break, so I came home with Ukyou. [thinking] I really hate lying to Ukyou's aunt, but she probably doesn't believe in moon-children like me. [speaking] We're gonna go visit Auntie Makiko later in the break. Akiko: Ahh, your aunt Makiko lives here? Megami: [thinking] EEP! I shouldn't have called her auntie. [speaking] She's not really my aunt. I just call her that to tease her. She's Ukyou's roommate. Akiko: Ahh. Okay. So, do you think this boy you like likes you? Megami: I don't know. I've been too shy to come out and tell him, but Kuonji-san encouraged me to follow my heart! Akiko: [softly] He always does, and it always gets him into trouble. [louder] Well, tell me about him and I'll help you plan your attack next semester, so to speak. Megami: You will? Thanks! Okay, Ranchan is like this... [launches into a long rant] **************************************************************************** [Tsubasa sprints out of his parents' tailor shop.] Tsubasa: [thinking] Gotta hurry if I'm going to get in lunch and the errands I want to run. [hears a loud thump behind him and turns around. Ukyou is standing there.] Hi! Ukyou: Got a minute? Tsubasa: If you don't mind following me around while I grab lunch and run errands. Ukyou: Sure. I have a problem, and I don't know who else to ask for advice. [thinking] I can't believe I'm asking you, actually. I tried calling Ranma, but he wasn't home. I should have known better. Tsubasa: So, what's the problem? [heads off down the street with Ukyou following him] Ukyou: My grandfather doesn't know I'm a girl, my dad doesn't want to tell him, and I'm not sure what to do. Tsubasa: Tell him. Ukyou: If I tell him, it's going to cause major problems. Tsubasa: What, you think you can fool him for the rest of his life? [stops at a food stand and gets some pork ramen. Ukyou gets some as well] What is likely to happen if you do tell him? Ukyou: He's gonna explode. Dad is planning to move out in a few months. I'm definitely going to tell him after that. I'm only keeping this up for Dad's sake. Tsubasa: Well, if it's only going to be a few months, that's not too bad. [finishes his ramen] You done? Ukyou: [gobbles down the rest] I am now. Tsubasa: [gets up] Let's get going, then. Anything else I can help you with? Ukyou: [thinks] Hmm. Well, I was thinking of shopping for a new dress and... Tsubasa: [laughs] I'm just the guy to help you pick one out. Come find me this evening. [They both laugh.] **************************************************************************** [We see Akiko sitting at the dining room table, dressed in a business suit. She is busily going through a bunch of papers.] Kuonji-sama: [enters] How is the inquiry going? Akiko: I think they're going to back down on the patent case. Kuonji-sama: The other inquiry. Akiko: What other inquiry? Kuonji-sama: [sits down] About Megami. Akiko: [frowns] I've been busy with other things. [pauses] I tried hinting, but I think I was too subtle. Kuonji-sama: Well, I'll do this myself. You do have a lot of work to do. [pauses] Any luck at all on seeing what exactly their relationship is? Akiko: Well, they're not dating secretly or anything. I know that. Kuonji-sama: Well, it's my duty to arrange something like this, anyway, not yours. I'll handle it. [departs] Akiko: [mutters] I've got a bad feeling about this. **************************************************************************** [We see Ukyou practicing on the back porch again. A few days have passed. It is late in the evening and the sun will set soon. Splashing noises are coming from the pool.] Ukyou: [pauses and mutters] I wish I could go swimming. Kuonji-san: [enters in a bathing suit] Father won't be back until late. Ukyou: You know he'll show up early if I take any chances. [does a backwards flip, then launches into another kata] Kuonji-san: I see you've gotten even better. Ukyou: I'm only about half as good as I used to be. First things calmed down some in Nerima, then I slacked off completely for half a year. Kuonji-san: Well, you were twice as good as me when you left, so you'd still stomp me. Ukyou: You underestimate yourself, Dad. [leaps up into a tree, then down to the ground, chopping invisible opponents into bits] Kuonji-san: Well, for one thing I can't leap around like that. I never could. How you and Father do it, I can't even begin to imagine. Ukyou: It's not hard at all. You just have to learn how to focus your chi to... Kuonji-san: I barely have enough fighting spirit to make myself get up in the morning. I can outcook you, but I stopped being able to outfight you once you were fourteen or so. You're so much more driven about it than I ever was. Ukyou: I wish I could learn to let go like you. I get so stubborn and obsessive and then I do stupid things. Kuonji-san: You learn from it, though. The only good thing about mistakes is that sometimes they teach you to avoid repeating them. Shin: [runs over from the pool in blue swim trunks] Come on, Kuonji-san! Come swim with me and Mom and Megami! Kuonji-san: I'll be there in just a minute. I'm talking to Ukyou. Shin: [looks at Ukyou] Aren't you going to come swim with us? Ukyou: No. I don't swim. Shin: You don't know how? Ukyou: I just don't go swimming. Ever. Shin: Oh, I see! You're afraid of the water! Ukyou: I am NOT afraid of the water! Shin: [runs around Ukyou] Scaredy-cat! You're afraid! I can smell it! Ukyou: I AM NOT AFRAID OF THE WATER! Shin: Uh huh. Chicken! Yellow Belly! Kuonji-san: Shin, don't be mean to your cousin. He just doesn't like swimming. Shin: But everyone likes swimming! Kuonji-san: Not everyone likes to swim. Shin: But you tell me that all the time! Kuonji-san: I was wrong. [drags Shin towards the pool] Come on, let's go swimming. Ukyou's got to practice for his tournament. Shin: Okay! Mommy's in a really nice bathing suit! You've got to come see it! Kuonji-san: [moves out of sight behind the bushes around the pool] Okay. Wanna play submarine with me? Shin: SURE! [follows Kuonji-san to the pool. Ukyou: [laughs] I remember when you used to play submarine with me. [spends a few minutes reminiscing about how she, Ranma, and her father used to play submarine, then wanders over and watches the others swim for a while.] Hmmm. [heads inside the house] **************************************************************************** [We see a collection of old men, none younger than sixty, in rather nice clothing, sitting around a table with poker chips and cards. Kuonji-sama is here.] Kuonji-sama: [looks at his hand. He has two kings, a five of hearts, a three of spades, and a jack of diamonds] I bid fifty. Minamoto-sama: [a huge man with a very long beard] I see your fifty and raise you thirty. Has anyone heard what finally happened with Biiko-chan and Daigo-san? Kasuga-sama: [a balding old man with little facial hair] I heard they ran off to Korea together. His wife was heartbroken. I see your eighty. Chiba-sama: [a very old looking man, though his hair is still black and long] I fold. Taira-sama: [an incredibly ugly and fat man, dressed in very expensive clothing] You ALWAYS fold. Chiba-sama: I always get a lousy hand. Taira-sama: [sighs] I see your eighty. So who told you that, Kasuga-sama? Kasuga-sama: Yotisune-san. [pauses] Whose bid is it? Kuonji-san: [looks at his cards again] Mine. I raise twenty. Puts the total at 100. Minamoto-sama: I see the 100 and raise by 10. I was expecting this for a long time. Shiiko could nag paint off a wall. Plus she was barely more intelligent than a watermelon. Kuonji-sama: There's no need to make fun of the poor woman. Not everyone can be as smart as you. Kasuga-sama: Hmm. I foresee my losing even more money if I don't bail out now. Fold. Taira-sama: I see your 110. [pauses] I hear your grandson Ukyou is in town. Kuonji-sama: Yes. I haven't seen him since his first year of high school. I see the 110 and raise it fifty. Taira-sama: FIFTY? Kuonji-sama: Is your hearing going? Minamoto-sama: [frowns and stares at his cards] I see your 160. So why didn't you bring him? Kuonji-sama: You remember what happened the last time. Kasuga-sama: Much as I hate to admit it, I'm having a hard enough time remembering our last game night, let alone one four years ago. Chiba-sama: If you remembered, you'd know why I fold so much. Taira-sama: [looks at his cards] Like an envelope, I fold. Ye gods, that was a disaster of a night, Kasuga-sama. Kasuga-sama: Wait, was that the time that... Chiba-sama: Losing fifty thousand yen in a poker game to a fifteen year old was rather embarrassing. And that was just ME. He was probably the richest fifteen year old in Osaka when we all went home that night. Minamoto-sama: [stares at his cards] So it's just you and me, Kuonji-sama? Kuonji-sama: Just like in 1944, eh? Minamoto-sama: I feel about the same, except I at least had a gun, then. [stares at his cards] I'll raise you ten. Kuonji-sama: My bid, then yours. Minamoto-sama: Oh, right. So is Ukyou's father still working for you? Kuonji-sama: He's the head cook for the Osaka franchise. Taira-sama: You haven't gotten rid of that worthless lout yet? Kuonji-sama: He is not worthless or I wouldn't employ him. He works very hard. I didn't make him head cook as a reward for slacking off. Kasuga-sama: Is it my bid yet? Kuonji-sama: No, it's my bid. Didn't you fold anyway? I see the 160 and raise it fifty. Minamoto-sama: [stares at his cards and narrows his eyebrows] To 210. Hrmmmm. Taira-sama: Keeping the father for the sake of the son, eh? Kuonji-sama: If it was only that, I'd hide him away somewhere he couldn't do any damage. I'd appreciate you not talking badly of my son-in-law. [glares] Taira-sama: Yeesh, okay. Okay. So, are you ever going to bid or are we going to sit here forever? Kuonji-sama: It's STILL Minamoto-sama's bid. Unless I passed out and didn't notice. Minamoto-sama: I get the hint. I fold. I've got a good hand, but not that good. Fold. Kuonji-sama: [puts his cards down and sweeps up all the cards into a pile, then takes all the bids] My deal, right? Chiba-sama: Right. So what did you have, anyway? A royal straight flush? Minamoto: I had a straight. Kuonji-sama: I'll never tell. Taira-sama: Dammit, you were bluffing again! You're good at that. Kuonji-sama: Bluffing is one of my strong points, yes. It's very useful in poker, business and many other aspects of life. ***************** [Kuonji-san and Shin are playing submarine in the shallow end. Akiko is idly floating in the deep end on a large 'tire' balloon. She is wearing a rather red skimpy bathing suit, usually worn by women about twenty years younger than she is; however, she has the figure to get away with it. Megami is wearing a similar outfit, though hers is blue.] Shin: Depth charge! [tries to drop a large inflatable ball into the water to bonk the 'submarine', but it just skids off the surface of the water. He paddles after it.] Akiko: [laughs] Try sitting on it, dear. [Shin tries to scramble up onto the top of the ball and just rolls over it and into the water in a big splash.] Megami: [scrambles out of the pool, then leaps into the air and dives down into the deep end] DEPTH CHARGE! [makes a huge splash that sends Akiko into the shallow end and tumbling off the tire. Shin also gets swamped] Akiko: Oh, so this is going to be war, is it? Banzai! [dives below the water and swims towards Megami, then pulls her under] Kuonji-san: [pulls Shin up as he flouders] You okay? Shin: Was that an earthquake? Ukyou: THIS is an earthquake! [A massive splash ensues as Ukyou hurls herself into the pool, diving down from a tree. She is wearing a fairly sedate green one-piece bathing suit. Everyone gets slammed by the tide and goes under for a second or two] Hehe. Shin: [struggles to the surface] HEY! [blinks] Who are you? Ukyou: I'm the spirit of the swimming pool. Everyone was having so much fun, I decided to join you. Shin: Oh. You look kinda vaguely familiar. Ukyou: That's because I live in the pool, so you've probably seen me before. Megami: ... [Ukyou suddenly goes under as Akiko comes up from below and drags her under] Shin: Eep! A shark got her! Megami: [laughs] Something like that. Kuonji-san: [thinking] I hope Kuonji-sama doesn't get home early. **************************************************************************** [We see Akiko, Ukyou, and Megami soaking in the hot water tub.] Megami: Ahh, this is so nice. I wish we had one of these at home. Akiko: Your family has all-modern plumbing? Megami: We live in an apartment. Akiko: Nice apartment, I guess. Megami: Mom pays a heavy rent, but it's worth it. [pauses] How did Ukyou manage to take baths here without Grandpa ever finding out about her? Akiko: Father ALWAYS bathes alone. I don't know why, but he just can't stand bathhouses or hot springs or anything else where you bathe with more than one person. Mom always had to take us by herself. Ukyou: [nods] He would have found out a long time ago otherwise. Megami: What happened to Grandma Kuonji? Akiko: She died of cancer six years ago. Father relied on her so much. He hasn't been the same since she died. Megami: What was she like? Akiko: A velvet glove on an iron fist. She was sweet and kind and gentle, unless you got out of line and then she'd crush you. She seemed like she was weak and yielding and always obedient to Father, but she always got what she wanted, somehow. I wish I understood how she did it. She always reined in Father when he got out of hand. I wish I understood how she did that as well. Megami: Is he really that bad? Akiko: No, but he drives me batty sometimes. He succeeded in making me as stubborn as he is. Ukyou: I think I have you both beat in the stubborn department. Now if I just didn't have to hide my gender from Grandfather... Akiko: My real nightmare is that he has known all along and we've been pussyfooting around for nothing. It would be just like him to say nothing and then slam us later when it does come out, like the business with me and Takahito. Megami: Who? Akiko: It was a real mess. It started when I was a junior in college... **************************************************************************** [Everyone is eating breakfast.] Shin: And then the spirit of the pool dunked Kuonji-san and... Kuonji-sama: [smiles] You have a very active imagination, Shin. Shin: She was real! Real, I tell you! Ukyou: [dressed once again as a boy] Just like Setsuna was, eh, Grandfather? Kuonji-sama: [laughs, thinking] I'd almost forgotten about his old imaginary friend. Shin: Who is Setsuna? Ukyou: A friend I had when I was younger. [laughs faintly] [The phone rings. Akiko leaves to answer it.] Kuonji-sama: Are you ready for the tournament? Ukyou: As ready as I ever am. It's not for another week, anyway. I'm going to be going into town today to go try and find a few old friends. Megami: I'm taking Shin to the park. Kuonji-sama: [nods] Can I talk to you before you go, Megami? Megami: Sure. Akiko: Excuse me? Ukyou, there's a call for you. Ukyou: Hm? Who was it? Akiko: A friend of yours... Kawamura Makiko? Ukyou: Oh, excuse me...? [looks at Kuonji-sama] Kuonji-sama: [looks over] Hmm? Oh, the phone. Go ahead and answer it. [thinking] It's not like he needs my permission. I wonder what's bothering him? * * * Ukyou: Maki-chan! Perfect timing! Makiko's voice: Uh? I just wanted to know if I could stop by your place or something. Ukyou: How about I stop by your place? I'll bring Megami, too! Makiko's voice: Sure. [thinking] Ukyou sounds a little weird. [speaking] What's wrong? Ukyou: I'll explain when I get there. * * * [We see Kuonji-sama and Megami on the back porch.] Kuonji-sama: Are you dating anyone, Megami? Megami: No. [wistfully] There's someone I like, though, but I don't think he knows. Kuonji-sama: [thinking] A hint, perhaps? [out loud] Anyone I know? Megami: [hems and haws] Sort of. Kuonji-sama: You see, I'm looking for a wife for my grandson, and I can see that the two of you seem to be very close, and ... Megami: [blushes] I...you mean... Kuonji-sama: I would have to speak to your parents, of course. Megami: Ummm...let me do it. We're going to go, um...see them during the break. [thinking] Don't ask me where. Don't ask me...ack, I told him my parents live in Sapporo! Kuonji-sama: [thinking] I can't remember where she said her parents live. [nods, speaking] Okay. Have them call me once you talk to them. Have fun in the park, and thank you for being willing to play with Shin-chan. Megami: No problem. [waves, thinking] Mom's going to kill me. Mom's going to kill me. Why don't I just say something? [Kuonji-sama departs. After he leaves, Shin runs in.] Shin: You're gonna marry UKYOU? Megami: Umm...that's what Grandpa wants. Shin: But you can't marry Ukyou! Then you couldn't marry me! Megami: [thinking] At least Grandpa didn't propose that. * * * [Makiko's mom, who looks a lot like an older version of Makiko, except with glasses and green eyes, greets Ukyou and Makiko at the door of the Kamawura residence, which is a tiny little two-story house with a tiny little yard, in a neighborhood full of them.] Kamawura-san: Ahh, you must be Ukyou and Megami! Ukyou: Nice to meet you! Megami: Hi! Kamawura-san: Makiko's been excited all day waiting for you to come over since she called you yesterday. [gets out of the way] Come in. [She leads them through the well furnished and neat, but cramped house.] Kamawura-san: Sorry the place is such a mess, but I've been busy trying to finish my latest book. I was working on it when you got here. Megami: Wow! What's it about? Ukyou: [looks around. The place is very clean, although the couch has an abandoned hat on it.] It doesn't look like a mess to me. Kamawura-san: Thank you. [points up the stairs] Makiko's room is first on the left. [They head upstairs to Makiko's room, which is incredibly neat and clean, except for the pile of clothing on the bed, which is starting to mount to the ceiling.] Makiko: [turns around] It's great to see you, Ucchan! I've been going out of my mind here... what do I wear to the wedding? Ukyou: Wedding? Oh... Tanaka-san's wedding? Isn't it a bit sudden, Maki-chan? Makiko: [thwapping Ukyou lightly] No! It's his cousin's wedding! Ukyou: [nodding] Cool. Makiko: So how're things going with your family? Ukyou: Well, Dad's planning to run away from home, and I have to pretend to be a boy all the time so Grandfather doesn't have a heart attack or kill us all or something. Megami: Aunt Akiko is great! She gave me some good advice on how to..uh...some important advice. [blushes] Makiko: Your grandfather thinks you're a boy? [thinking] Did she tell me this and I forgot? Ukyou: Okay, here is what happened... * * * Ukyou: So, until Dad moves out I'm stuck. He should be moved out by the next time I come home, but still... Makiko: Yeah, I agree. Better not to rock the boat too much. I hate family fights. Ukyou: So do I, or I'd just go ahead and tell Grandpa. Megami: Except now he wants me to marry you. Ukyou: ... Makiko: WHAT? Megami: [puts one hand behind her head nervously] Oh, didn't I tell you this before? Ukyou: No!!!! Megami: I'll just tell him my parents said no. Ukyou: You got that right! Makiko: [comes over to Ukyou] Calm down! We'll get you out of this. Ukyou: Sorry, this is all starting to make me crazy. Makiko: Well, I'm sure we'll figure out a way out of this. Let's talk about something else for a while, and I'll think of a solution. Ukyou: So, you gonna have fun at Tanaka's wedding? Be sure to catch the bouquet! Makiko: It's not what you THINK! I'm just going with him as a friend, ya know? Ukyou: [smiles] Sure, you say. Think he agrees with you? Makiko: [narrowing eyes] What are you getting at? Ukyou: [smirks] Nothing. [Megami chuckles.] Makiko: He's JUST a friend... wait... are you saying maybe he thinks it's more? Megami: Auntie Maki, why doncha just say you're dating with Uncle Lardy? Makiko: I am NOT! Ukyou: [shrugs] Maki-chan, don't make a big deal out of it. It's probably nothing. Makiko: [not listening] Aw, jeez, I thought he KNEW I was going with him as a friend... Ukyou: Calm down, Maki... Makiko: [turning around on HER] Hey, you can go with me! As my escort! Ukyou: Nani?! You're HIS date...! Makiko: [kneeling on the floor] Aw, come on, Ucchan, come with me... and Megami too! I can tell Tanaka-kun it's my turn to watch Megami, and you're along as my bodyguard or something! Ukyou: Bodyguard? Makiko: Yeah! Since everyone in this town thinks you're a boy, you can come along with me! Maybe tell them you're going away for training on a tournament! Ukyou: What? You want me to go as a boy? Makiko: Why not? Just so that Tanaka-kun doesn't get any ideas... Ukyou: [thinking] This is going to turn into a disaster. I'm going to end up engaged to Makiko or something. [pauses, speaking] Well, if you really want me to, I'll do it, but... Makiko: But what? Ukyou: Nothing. I'm just being paranoid. [thinking] I wonder if Lardy will even recognize me? * * * [Late night, Kuonji kitchen. A shadowy figures enter, and turns on the light. It is Ukyou. She opens the refrigerator, and takes out what looks to be okonomiyaki batter, and sauce. She goes to the stove, pulls out a frying pan, and begins cooking. Kuonji-sama enters behind her.] Kuonji-sama: Late night snack? Ukyou: [starting] Oh... grandfather! Uh... I was... Kuonji-sama: [sitting down at the table] I was up, and noticed you were up and around. Make me some of that, will you please, boy? Ukyou: [blinks, then nods] Hai, grandfather. Kuonji-sama: So... you will be escorting your friend Makiko to a wedding? Ukyou: Hai. Kuonji: And you're bringing Megami with you? Ukyou: Hai. Uh... Megami and Makiko are... close, you know. So we're all going. Kuonji-sama: Ah... I'm so glad you're all... close. Ukyou: [flipping okonomiyaki] Hai! Kuonji-sama: [nodding to himself] Well... as long as you're prepared for the tournament. Ukyou: [smiling] I've had LOTS of practice in Nerima. You won't believe the stuff I had to learn just to survive. Kuonji-sama: [smiling] Excellent. I look forward to seeing you get the trophy, then. [Ukyou comes over and puts down two plates of okonomiyaki on the table.] Ukyou: So am I. [laughs] I'm even ready to go head to head with anyone who practices martial arts literary criticism. College does have its uses, even in martial arts. [Kuonji-sama blinks, then laughs.] =============================================================================== finis. =============================================================================== Loneliness - a state of mind Feels like you're a step behind When you're down and need a friend I promise you, I promise you I'll be there to the end When you've gone and lost your way This's what I've got to say Love can hold your head up high I promise you, I promise you I won't say goodbye Down from the low, into the high Might as well enjoy the ride I promise you I won't know what to say And I promise you I'll say it anyway I promise that we'll leave it all behind I promise that we'll have enough time In a moment, come tonight I promise you it'll be all right =============================================================================== Credits : Writers..............: John Walter Biles David Tai Paul Gallegos Jeffrey Paul Hosmer Story Artists........: Jong Man Hwang DnR Companion........: Mike "Nelson" Gulick Special Thanks to....: The Tucson Animation Screening Society (TASS) And of course Rumiko Takahashi +-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Copyright (c) 1997 Digital Knight Communications | +-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | "Ranma 1/2" and its characters Copyright (c) 1997 | | Viz Communications, Inc., Shogakukan, Kitty Animation | | and Rumiko Takahashi | +-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ ===============================================================================